Every year since my father and husband passed away, we all struggle just a little bit to figure out ways to continue to celebrate them on Father’s Day. As the years move on (12 years now), the kids and I are starting to laugh again at the memories of my father –

Always choosing the seats up front at St. Matthews church for midnight mass (us stumbling in after drinking way too much Christmas Eve Wine and my Dad standing up and waving at us –“Over here, I saved you all seats!” and us dying…)

It was a tough year- the toughest in a long time.

Last year was a crazy transitional year. I cut off my hair – like Joan Jett style- to see what it would look like coming in grey (not to mention I had people around me that said, “do it! Its hair, it will grow back!” From friends telling me after 2 drinks- “What did you do to your hair?” to friends saying, “If you like it, who cares?” And the gut punch of my grandson asking me, “How long will this last?” Kids are so honest.

If you know me, then you know that for years I have been saying, “How could I ever date again after having the most fulfilling marriage of 26 years?”  I didn’t get divorced; my husband died of Cancer.

So, one night after a couple of drinks of liquid courage, I signed up for a dating service to see if I could find someone to “fill the gap in my heart,” and here is what I learned after the 1^st and only date:

I was eating brunch this past weekend, and who should walk in but one of the WORST brokers I ever worked with, and for~ I immediately felt sick.

Until that moment at Sunday brunch, I had tried entirely to forget about this old broker/boss. But WHOA, the flashbacks and memories of working for a very unpleasant person came over me like a wave. As soon as I saw him, I could not push past the memories of a time I had tried to suppress.

For me, 2020 brought out the best and worst of all of us. We quickly figured out who was in our corner and who we needed to be wary of…. But there is THE one person who is one of my FAVORITE people in the whole wide world who helped me make it through 2020.

Life Transition. I sat staring into the eyes of a beautiful woman, who had lost her husband unexpectantly this year. She and her adult daughters were devastated, and I could see myself in her. I spoke in the kindest voice I could offer her and heard myself say ~